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This past week was absolutely gorgeous!  At 8 weeks post-op, I’m feeling GREAT and have been very active. I broke out my bike and rode 3 days on the bike path this past week. I’ve even been able to do a bit of running.  It feels so good to be myself again. Of course I’ll be out of commission again when I go in to put the expander back in on July 13th. It will stink to go backwards but I know it’s necessary to move forward and put it ALL behind me.

Meanwhile, I’m going to keep riding, running, working in my garden,  and doing this:
summer2010 043


I’ve been away from the computer a lot lately which in itself indicates that I’ve been busy with life!  My DD graduated from her college program and my DS graduated from high school over the past couple of weeks. I’ve been busy planning parties, cleaning, running errands, and working in the yard. We got the pool open and although the weather hasn’t been hot since, we’re expecting a nice weekend so maybe I’ll take a dip. I’ll end up wearing shorts, a tank and sports bra so that I can keep my stuffing in place but it’ll do.

I never posted what Dr. B. said about the vaginal bleeding but she did call me back and said that it was probably my body getting used to the new HRT. She said that it may happen again this month until the hormones level off but that should be it. What a relief!  I was dreading the thought of still having to have a monthly period despite having my ovaries out and going through menopause. There has to be at least one good thing about this whole thing!  Unfortunately, I’m bleeding again today (less than weeks from the last time) so I’ll need to call her if it happens again.

Other than that.. life is just moving along and I’m getting stronger every day. Too bad it’s only to start all over again on July 13th. Once again, I’ll be taking one day at a time. Until then, I hope to get my bike out and hit the bike path while I can and enjoy being able to be active.

I went to the PS yesterday and Dr. M said things are healing well and I’m on the right track. He asked how I was doing and I told him that I was starting to freak out about the time frame for the surgery because of school. Because my co-teacher has been transferred to a new building, I feel that I really need to be there to open up the class and start the year.

Right away he was very firm in stating “We’ll do whatever you need to do.  It’s all about your schedule.”  He said that he usually likes to do the fills as fast as possible because the expanders are so uncomfortable and he wants to be able to take them out as soon as he can. But, he said, we can fill extremely slowly and I asked if it was possible to do some fills over the summer then suspend filling for awhile so I can start the year.  Once again, he stressed that he would work around my schedule and do whatever I want.

I also asked him about the swelling that I get when walking and he assured me that it’s got nothing to do with the lymph system and it’s nothing to worry about. I really didn’t think it was but just wanted to make sure in case there was a problem.

So, I feel more at ease today about school.  The “plan” is that I’m going to go back in September and take it slowly but of course I’ll need to see how I make out after the surgery. If I’m in agony like I was the first time around and need pain medication to get past the muscle spasms I obviously won’t be able to work. If that’s the case then I’ll try to bite the bullet, fill quickly despite the pain, and try to have the exchange ASAP then go back when it’s all over. It’s not what I hope will happen but at least I’m going to try to make it back.   It just feels better to have some options.  Naturally, one thing I’ve learned is that you can plan all you want but ultimately, you have to go with the flow because some things are just beyond our control.

Comfy sports bra stuffed with a bandana 😉

Things are loosening up. 4 1/2 weeks until surgery.

I went for my colposcopy last week and was anxious about the procedure. I ended up making out fine because the doctor, nurse and I were talking about books and it was over before I knew it. My anticipation of feeling woozy and the pain was 100 times worse than the procedure itself this time around. I’m thankful for that!  I need to call her this week to find out the results but she said the initial look-see with the microscope looked ok.

The latest for this weekend is that I started spotting yesterday and as of today I’m wearing a mini-pad and seem to be having a light period. I’m on my fourth week of the Climara Pro Patch and spotting looks to be a side effect. I will call the doctor tomorrow though to find out for sure and if I’m to expect a monthly “period” now that I’m on this HRT.  I’ve noticed some bloating and weight gain too, despite my vegetarian diet and walking.   The soaking night sweats have disappeared though and I only have some mild hot flashes so it’s worth it in my book!

The fearful part is my beginning to think about the time frame for my next two surgeries.  I’m scheduled to put the expander back in on July 13th and will begin my fills throughout the summer. I likely won’t be done by September and that means that I’ll either have to miss the beginning of the school year,  absolutely the WORST time for a teacher to be out,  or go to school without being done. I KNOW I need to stop worrying because I can’t predict the future and how I’ll feel but I’m so upset about the possibility of not being there to get the class opened and on the right track. By the same token, I’m so worried that I’ll be in the same physical discomfort as the first time around that I won’t be able to function enough to work. The thought of going to school in agony terrifies me.

So… I REALLY need to just try not to think about the future yet and realize that “shit happens” and that I can’t control it.  It’s just tough when you are a Type A person who is used to putting others and responsibilities first to step back and put myself first. In the mean time, I’m seeing the PS tomorrow for a checkup and will mention where I am in my head about the whole thing.

I also need to ask him about the swelling that I get under my armpits when I go for my fitness walks. (You know that piece of skin where the glands are that is between the bra strap and the armpit…) They look huge to me without a breast on each side of them but feel extra big after a walk.  My hands swell as well and my rings get tight. Other than that, things are pretty much a non issue. I still need to stretch a lot as my chest muscles tighten up and pinch and I’m looking forward to the day when both sides are even and I don’t have to wear this sports bra and stuff it with a face cloth.  I’ll have to come up with a plan for a bathing suit to wear in the pool until my surgery too. We’re opening the pool this week and it will be nice to hang out to cool off.

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June 2010
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